Blog

Gender expression and its labels are products of social and cultural norms, not biological imperatives. The behaviors, mannerisms, and roles traditionally associated with being a “woman” or a “man” are not determined by any inherent biological factors. Instead, they are shaped by societal expectations and constructs.

In other words, there is no scientific evidence to suggest that certain behaviors or characteristics inherently define someone as a “woman” or a “man.” These labels are fluid and can vary greatly across different cultures and time periods. What it means to be a “woman” or a “man” is largely defined by the society in which one lives, rather than any inherent biological traits.

TL/DR: Gender norms are made up, and the points (made by those who disagree) don’t matter. Gender is not binary, but is instead a spectrum, and should be inclusive and all-accepting.

YOU BE YOU. CONTEMNITE INVIDIOSOS.

I’m sharing this in celebration of the current holiday. Here’s a passage from Kahlil Gibran’s renowned work, “The Prophet,” which never fails to inspire.

---

When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; and then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.” And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; and to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; to rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; to return home at eventide with gratitude; and then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Oh, no! Your friend / family member / coworker just came out to you. What do you do? Not to fear! Here’s a short guide on what to do when it happens to you:

1. ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE. It took considerable thought and courage, in finding the right moment and the right words. Now is the time to show openness, patience, and attentive listening. If needed, take a moment to reflect before responding, allowing their words to sink in.
2. ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE. Understand their apprehension about your reaction. By confiding in you, they’ve made themselves quite vulnerable. Acknowledge the significance of their trust and the courage it took to reveal this aspect of themselves. Let them know their decision to share is deeply meaningful to you.
3. ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE. With this newfound knowledge, they’re likely anxious about the future of your relationship. What lies ahead? Ensure your response is sincere, avoiding any hint of taking their disclosure personally. Reassure them that your understanding extends beyond yourself; this is about them, not you.
4. ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE. They shared this with the intent of having you know them better and to have a more authentic relationship with you. Continue to extend the same love and support you’ve always shown them. Nothing has changed, except you now have a little more information about this special person in your life.

Above all, remember that this disclosure was never intended as a personal attack. There was no ill intent. Coming out requires a level of bravery and resilience that may be hard for any cis/het person to truly comprehend. They chose to share this part of themselves willingly; they owed you nothing. Think about it! In this day and age (and political hellscape), you have a person in your life who values you so much, they put their very real fears aside to pursue a more genuine connection with you. That’s beautiful and should be celebrated!